lunes, marzo 21

El jugo de pomelos es un problema de todos

Hola hola amigos de Lo Que Perdura Allende los Mares del Tiempo. Hoy, y tras un largo silencio que no era sino una protesta por el peinado de Lenny Kravitz, vuelvo a vosotros con un regalo. ¡Qué digo un regalo! Un presente, un obsequio, una ofrenda cual insectox de phoskitos.
Se trata de un ambicioso guión teatral escrito por el erudito Ferdinand D. LeNul, artista y literato de origen austro-holandés por parte de madre y eusko-sajón por parte de un hijo suyo llamado Chet.

En esta obra, el autor se centra no ya en su tema favorito, los cítricos, sino en el tema que ya explorase en superficie en su anterior obra, Los Pomelos de la Desdicha. Como telón de fondo del tema ya citado, LeNul sorprende con alusiones a la guerra de los cien años. Frases como "¡No! ¡No! ¡Mi bicicleta nunca habría aguantado la guerra de los cien años!" (--Marjorie, la sirvienta) reflejan una preocupación del autor por los vehículos ligeros durante los conflictos armados del medievo. Sólo en superficie había tratado este tema, para tristeza de todos sus lectores, hasta el día de hoy.

En exclusiva para MonoSimio's Random Data, aquí tenemos el fragmento o teaser del segundo acto de esta obra, de título aún pendiente pero de inminente estreno en algún tugurio apestoso de Marsella.

Se abre el telón, aparece MARCUS con un berbiquí. Viste unos ridículos pantaloncitos de color marrón y una pluma adorna su gorro regional Alpino.

MARCUS: Oh, héme aquí con mi berbiquí. Mi fiel berbiquí, que tantas veces he olvidado. Oh, pero aquí viene Theodora... Me ocultaré tras ese macetero para no ser visto.

Aparece en escena THEODORA, la ama de llaves de lastimoso aspecto, pues cuenta 24 años, lo que no impide que lleve faldones almidonados y un extraño sombrero sud-andino al que llama MUFTI. En su mano lleva una cesta con limones.

THEODORA: Que curioso, juraría haber oído a un asno hablando de berbiquís... ¡Pero los asnos no hablan, sacrebleu! ¿Acaso estaré volviéndome loca, mi fiel Mufti?

MUFTI: ....

THEODORA: Anoche puse unas flores a remojo aquí... ¿Dónde estarán ahora? (advierte una pluma asomar tras el macetero) ¿Qué es esto? No recuerdo haber plantado ningún ave, no almenos esta semana. (tira de la pluma, curiosa, y MARCUS sale de un brinco de detrás del macetero)

MARCUS: ¡Vieja bruja! ¡No tires así de mi ornamento capilar!

THEODORA: ¡Oh! ¿Que misteriosa razón os hace esconderos tras el macetero?

MARCUS: Eso a tí no te incumbe. ¡Arpía! Prepárame un baño de aceite, ¡he de bañar mi ultraligero para una salida vespertina!

THEODORA: Permita el Señor recordarle que esta tarde soplará viento del oeste, que jamás inspira otra cosa que temor en los lugareños.

MARCUS: Otra vez los lugareños... Quién sabe si algún día podré deshacerme de todos ellos, con sus costumbres y sus dichos locales... ¡Conspiran, sí, conspiran! No descansarán hasta haber celebrado la Fiesta del Calabacín ¡y eso es precisamente lo que me propongo impedir!

MARCUS profiere rudas carcajadas y THEODORA se arrodilla, llorando.
Telón.
En este fragmento, la locura del Conde Marcus es evidente gracias al sutil detalle del berbiquí. El lector avezado y familiarizado con la peculiar simbología de LeNul habrá adivinado ya que el berbiquí es un icono que el autor utiliza como reencarnación literaria de otro personaje suyo: Marcel MonFleur, el astuto y retorcido abogado de Naranjas son Almendras, obra centrada en un triste pero optimista adicto al cianuro y su perro Zola.

Ya está, eso era todo por hoy, pero no me marcho sin un valioso consejo: No os creáis nada, y menos si viene escrito por duplicado, pero si viene por triplicado entonces es verídico.

A más ver!

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